The worst arguments are when both people are right.
As a pastor, I see these kinds of arguments all the time in marriage counseling, board meetings and conflict resolution. Should we save money or trust in God’s provision? Should we focus on evangelism or discipleship? Should we be generous to those in need or should we “teach the man to fish”? Should we help our kids out or should we let them learn their lesson?
It’s these types of arguments that seem to have no solution because both sides are convinced of their being right and won’t give an inch. This is the type of argument that we see over and over again in our politics as well. Two of the values that Americans value highly are freedom and equality; and yet, if you think about them you know that they are inherently opposites. These two characteristics are oppositional in nature: Should we force desegregation on our country’s neighborhoods or should we allow people the freedom to choose where they want to live? Should we utilize affirmative action type of legislation into our society or should we be a meritocracy?
It is so easy to castigate the Republicans for being against equality or to condemn the Democrats for being against freedom. We wonder, as a nation, why we are so divided. Here is the reason: we are too busy blaming the other side for being against freedom or equality instead of valuing the opposition’s view as being valid also.
Our country believes that “all men are created equal”, and yet we are the “land of the free and the home of the brave.”
Here is the biggest crux: should a parent be allowed to improve their child’s life? I know that the answer seems obvious at first blush – but with the obvious answer of “yes”, we have created an inequality. The next generation will have unequal opportunities based upon their parents’ accomplishments; and after 200 years of this – the gap will be quite wide.
Everyone knows that if you give the exact same scenarios to two different individuals, that their exercise of their own free will (among a whole host of other variables) will create different outcomes…which will then be inherited by their children.
I would love to see a dialogue begin in our country in a wholistic way that asks this question: “Where are the appropriate boundaries for freedom and equality?” Ultimately, righteousness should be our highest goal. As Teddy Roosevelt stated in response to those who didn’t want to get involved in World War I in order to have peace:
“The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.”
“if given the choice between Righteousness and Peace, I choose Righteousness.” – Teddy Roosevelt
Children should learn from their mistakes…and their parents should help them through them. We should store up our provisions as the ant does and put our confidence in God’s provision as sufficient. We should be generous to those in need and teach him to improve his situation. Both/and, not either/or.